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Status efter 2. afsnit af ’Gift ved første blik’: 3 lynbrylluper og en manglende bryllupsnat

Anders og Luna: Anders og Luna er dette års Carsten og Eva. Desværre kun aldersmæssigt. Mit borgerforslag om at pålægge DR at tvangsgifte Carsten i alle fremtidige sæsoner vandt desværre ikke tilslutning blandt befolkningen.

I Høje-Gladsaxe møder vi 51-årige Luna, som er uddannet pædagog. Hun bor alene i sin lejlighed, som efterhånden føles så tom, at hun nogle gange er begyndt at sige hej til den, når hun kommer hjem. Ligeledes er hun begyndt at diskutere højlydt med TV-avisen, forklarer hun. Et regulært sammenbrud er med andre ord nært forestående og Luna er grydeklar til et gedigent tv-eksperiment.

Eksperterne har i den anledning fundet Anders på 52. Han har en brun labrador og synger gospel. Han har ikke være single særlig længe, kun 12 år, men alligevel er han klar til ’nye eventyr’ som han siger. Og forventningerne på den anden side hos Luna er da også rimelig eventyr/fantasi-agtige: – Det skal bare slå gnister i mig hver gang han træder ind i rummet og han skal omvendt føle, at han er verdens heldigste mand, når han ser mig.

Luna har slæbt 8-9 veninder med da hun skal købe brudekjole, og programmet får en kort overgang karakter af ’Say yes to the dress’. Selvom kjoler ikke er hendes favoritudstyr så afslører Luna overfor veninderne, at hun ’har en sjælden drøm om at være feminin’ til brylluppet. – Altså allerhelst vil jeg jo bare gerne have en cowboy-jakke og nogle cowboy-bukser på, men nu prøver vi noget nyt – hvorefter hun vælger en western-lignende ’brudekjole’, der vil gøre sig godt på enhver linedance-bar i Nashville.

Begge virker umiddelbart tilfredse med matchet, da de endelig står overfor hinanden. Efter en vanvittig hurtig vielse bliver de hastet ud til en vandkant hvor bryllupsfotografen står og venter. I vandkanten bliver der pjattet og grinet og Anders åbner pludselig op for kavalkade af lidenskabelig kys efter 12 års singleliv. Resten af aftenen fortaber sig i festligheder, men af en eller anden årsag skal vi ikke have bryllupsnatten med.

Dog kan man i dag i BT læse overskriften ’Luna gik hele vejen’, hvor hun afslører, at det var helt naturligt for dem ’at vælge hinanden til’ da de kom hjem til hotelværelset. – Vi gik hele vejen, fordi vi var så glade. Det er fedt! Mindre fedt ser det ud i traileren for næste af afsnit, hvor Anders åbenbart er skredet.

Chance for overlevelse: 70-80 procent. Hvis Anders dukker op igen og vil have mere.

Anja og Dennis: Argh, det er sgu lidt svært med de to. Vi har Anja på 31, hvis hobby er krydderurter og mountainbike, og så Dennis på 28 som spiser plantebaseret, og aldrig har haft en kæreste. Til gengæld er han god til lave bolalinse-lasagne.

Anjas veninde er primært den der er på banen i aftens afsnit. Hun er nærmest aggressiv coach-agtig: Ved du hvad, han vil synes du er skidesød, pisselækker og har en god røv! Og fuck om han har grimme tæer. Det skal du bare være helt ligeglad med. Shit mand.

Nej, der er sgu ikke kød nok på de to endnu. Men altså, det virker sindssygt mærkeligt, at de som det første starter med at spise af bryllupskagen da de ankommer til festlokalerne efter vielsen. What’s up with that?!

Chance for overlevelse: Dunno. Men mindre han laver ebola-linse-lasagne til hende. Then not so much.

Frederik og Maja: Frederik på 29 er dette års Michael. Genert og gamer-agtig. Vi møder ham i hans lejlighed, hvor han allerførst stolt viser sin ’seng’ – en stor madras på gulvet. Det kender jeg godt selv fra 20’erne. Og lidt fra 30’erne 🙂

Frederik har været single i 7 år og han er umiddelbart udfordret af to ting, når det kommer til at date. For det første har han fået den idé, at loyalitet findes på Tinder, og at man kun snakker med én af gangen og for det andet har han det med at være tavs på de dates han så ender med at komme på. Det er en dead on arrival-model.

Heldigvis er Maja på 28 meget snakkende. Og lyder som om hun konstant er i gang med at fortælle et børneeventyr. Hun har ligesom Frederik frekventeret Tinder, men er efterhånden blevet træt af ’dick pics’ og forespørgsler om one night stands. Nu vil hun i stedet møde en på tv. Da hun samtidig afslører, at hun godt kan lide altid at få og have ret, og da Frederik som bekendt hurtig bliver tavs, synes de to at være et fornuftig match. På papiret.

Chance for overlevelse: 50-60 procent. Stiltiende accept er vejen frem Frederik. PS: Ud over Anders’ forsvinden så byder traileren til næste afsnit på en anden fed ting. Michael taber nemlig en af Christinas ting under flytningen, som så går i stykker. Gonna be a lot of fun.

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