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Gode, gammeldags familieværdier, tænkte jeg, da det kvindelige ensemble i TV3’s Besat af Bad Boys præsenterede sig selv og deres krav til en livspartner. Her bliver ikke leflet for nogen queerteoretikere eller normstormere, kønsrollerne er mejslet i silikone og steroidesvulmende biceps: Min mand skal være stor og stærk, interessere sig for fodbold og motorcykler samt kunne sætte mig på plads, så skal jeg nok tage oprydningen. Det er frækt at blive sat på plads, siger en af damerne i seriens allerførste afsnit, der starter forrygende.
Muskler og tatoveringer er en selvfølge, ellers kan man næppe regne med at blive ordentligt beskyttet, og på trods af den aura af lovbrud, som de tussede, farvede og stærkt makeuppede kvinder tiltrækkes af, drømmer de fleste om noget så borgerligt som villa, Volvo og mikroskopisk vovse. Kinder, Küche, Kirche – og et skud collagen i læberne. En konservativ drøm, altså bortset fra at Mariyah, Heidi, Kia og de andre ikke er voldsomt tough on crime. Kia med de tre børn forestiller sig eksempelvis et forhold i stil med Bonnie & Clyde, men uden det med at slå folk ihjel. Forhåbentlig også uden det med at blive mejet ned af politiet som 24-årig. En af dem kunne godt tænke sig en kæreste, der laver ting, man ikke rigtig ved, hvad er. En anden tænder på en mand med et dødt blik. En tender defender, hedder det i visse kredse, hvor man forsøger at vejlede mænd i at finde balancen mellem konfliktsky bløddyr og seriekriminel psykopat; en svær balance, eftersom damerne er single, da serien starter.
I anden sæsons første afsnit synes nogle af de besatte at være blevet skiftet ud, mens andre har fået kærester, men bortset fra Mariyah, den smukke eksotiske danser (det hedder vist en stripper på almindeligt dansk), Kia (“mor med stort M”) og Heidi med Playboy-drømmene har jeg svært ved at skelne dem fra hinanden. Dels fordi de ikke har samme talent for sproglige nyskabelser som eksempelvis Amalie Szigethy; i stedet gentager de, at de gerne vil have en bad boy, både under de forskellige set pieces og i eftersnakken, som om producerne er nervøse for, at vi glemmer programmets titel, hvilket bliver en smule trættende. Dels er dramaet enten ikke-eksisterende eller alt for søgt og opstillet i hektisk sammenklippede indslag: Først en veninde-reunion i form af sammenskudsgilde, hvor Heidi medbringer en flaske Belvedere-vodka på størrelse med en torpedo. Værtinden Amalie afslører, at hun er sammen med Julian, der ikke helt lever op til venindernes standarder for badness, og pigerne tager på druktur i en product placement-studenterbus, hvor Mariyah giver en lapdance, og chaufføren får lov at spanke Kia med et bælte, fordi hun har tabt en flaske ned på fortovet, hvilket er bizart grænseoverskridende.
I en anden historie hører vi om 28-årige Pernille og hendes kolossale 40-årige mand, Christian, der har siddet i fængsel i nogle år; Pernille drømmer om et hus på landet og masser af dyr. De tager til Tyskland for at shoppe, og Christian stresser over, om der nu er for mange mennesker i grænsehandlen. Det er der ikke.
I en tredje historie skal Nana have filler i læberne, hvilket kæresten Lasse ikke forstår. Han forstår dog godt, hvorfor kvinder får lavet silikonebryster. Det er ganske enkelt ikke spændende nok, men det er måske også svært at leve plotmæssigt op til en introduktion, hvor flere kvinder glade giver udtryk for, at de leder efter voldsparate, småkriminelle, hemmelighedsfulde og svært ansættelige mænd.
I DR3’s public service-pendant, Prinsesser fra Blokken, kunne producerne ikke forsvare blot at smide nogle store bryster op på en bus og instruere begivenhederne som de første fem minutter af en pornofilm. De interviewer kvinderne (og senere mændene i Hård udenpå) over længere tid, så man lærer dem og deres sære solbruningsritualer at kende, og formålet er ikke at presse så meget skørhed og/eller lummerhed som muligt ud af hver eneste programpunkt, men finde ud af, hvad der foregår i et ofte udskældt og latterliggjort segment af befolkningen.
I Besat af Bad Boys synes kvinderne knap så klar til ærlighed, de tager rollen som opskruede reality-klichéer på sig og gør det fra starten svært at betragte serien som et ufiltreret indblik i et bestemt miljø. De vil tydeligvis gerne være lidt crazy karakterer i en skør, skør verden, men leverer samtidig ikke selv nok vanvidsreplikker til at holde et anstændigt tempo. Det stiller store krav til plot og manuskript, som producerne ikke indfrier med de dagligdags venindemiddage og grænsehandel. Men hvis serien ikke kan eller vil grave dybt i de bad boys-besatte kvinders personlighed, må de i stedet op på nogle lidt højere dramatiske tinder.
Besat af Bad Boys kan ses på TV3 og Viaplay. Tredje afsnit, sæson 2 vises torsdag den 14. februar.
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